Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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