You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
