are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize