How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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