yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
