So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
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what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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