Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
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The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
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She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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