you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
