you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
