Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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