Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
