I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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