She's JV to your varsity
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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