i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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