Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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