What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
