Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
