New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
MIDGETS
????
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
