Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize