you guys were way drunker than both of me
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
