she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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