im drinking this country out of the recession.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize