make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
