Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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