WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
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It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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