This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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