i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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