No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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