high people should be assigned attendants
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
