Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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