Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize