11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
