Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
