I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just pee around me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
