I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
