p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
