do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You've changed since you got that strap on
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
