They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize