If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
