try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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