I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
