so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
