Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm drive I can fine osifer
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
