Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
