Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
