He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
