so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
