Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
