If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
