you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
