Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You left your phone here
Wait...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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