It's like a parade of train wrecks.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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