When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
