My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
