The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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