what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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