If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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