oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
