I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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