My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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