Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize