Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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